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Fabulous
An original verse fable involving animals A greyhound and a hedgehog met High on a hill near Hurst, And there it was they had a bet On...
A bit of April
A passage incorporating, in any order, the following words: après-ski, apron, apraxia, apricot, apropos, Capri, caprice, Capricorn,...
Vernal verse
A poem beginning ‘Goodbye, Winter’, an opening line used by MacNeice Goodbye, Winter, The dewdrop on the crocus Like a crystal ball Comes...
Mnemonic
A memory-assisting poem to help one remember a set of facts Most know we’re sitting on the earth near Mercury or Mars In somewhere called...
English Hexameters
A poem in English hexameters in the form of a letter from abroad from one friend to another Dear, darling Dawn, down here in Sorrento, I...
Bizarre Books
An imaginary extract from an actual book title: ‘Sex After Death’ …So much for reincarnation. The Judeo-Christian tradition arguably...
Threesomes
Three clerihews about one person Chief Inspector Morse Felt little remorse For being brusque, bigoted, unbending And unbearably...
Lipogrammatic
A piece of prose which omits the consonants ‘s’ and ‘t’ Why go abroad for a break when a holiday in England can be equally engaging?...
Floreat Alama Mater
An old school song suitable for a public school founded in this century We are the new contenders, We sing to the ‘Boat-Song’ tune,...
Girl of the month
A poem beginning, ‘April is the cruellest girl…’. April is the cruellest girl, A mean, obscene, conniving churl, A trashy, imitation...
What on earth happened?
A passage to explain a piece of prose which ends with these three sentences – ‘There was only one thing to do. I gave the umbrella away...
This Happy Breed
A poem on the news that the Queen has succeeded in crossing a dachshund with a corgi, thus producing a dorgi All royal dogs should please...
Banalisation
A well-known poem reduced to banality by changing the words, including the rhyme words, but not the rhyme scheme Oh my glove’s like an...
Break-through
An imaginary newspaper report announcing some piece of ‘scientific’ research purporting to prove something either obvious or bizarre...
Ready, Steady, Cook
A recipe in rhyming verse If you’re a bachelor like me You’re sure to love this recipe. Here’s what you need: a grill, a ring, Some bread...
Bouts Rimes
A poem with the following rhyme scheme: starts, hearts, crust, dust, slit, wit, immense, sense, more, core, esteem, gleam, strikes, likes...
Timeless Types
A character sketch analysing and illustrating the behaviour of one contemporary human being Notable among timeless types is the...
Domestic Mottoes
A rhymed motto for an everyday domestic object The gleam of the tiles for pleasure, The lock on the door for peace, The cool, comfy seat,...
Powell Position
A passage in the style of Anthony Powell beginning with the words, ‘The dwarf passed out about five o’clock…’ The dwarf passed out about...
Half a ton
An acrostic poem in which the first letters of the lines spell out FIFTY-POUND NOTE Felicity Ford was a saver, Intelligent, godly and...
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