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Playtime
A poem incorporating the titles of West End theatrical productions current in 2005 Oh yes, I remember the birthday party And meeting the...
Anti-picturesque
A poem expressing aversion to what is popularly regarded as picturesque I hate the stuff: it’s only straw For rooks to rob and rats to...
Modern types
A poem describing the modern grumbler Modern grumblers vent their spleen On what they see as shameful wrongs: On girls who think it not...
Peccavi
A poem describing regret at failing to keep a New Year resolution Through being short, each woman that I meet Presents me with a...
Hard Work
A poem beginning in the same way as Gilbert’s ‘A policeman’s lot is not a happy one’ but with some other worker replacing the policeman A...
Greenery-yallery
An imaginary extract from the libretto of the flop musical, ‘Oscar Wilde’ Oscar Oh, Bosie, will you love me just the same?...
Escaping Christmas
A passage which incorporates these 12 Christmasy words in a non-Christmasy way: ‘present, boxing, wise men, wait, log, merry, goose,...
A heartfelt curse
A rhymed malediction beginning with ‘A curse upon the man who first…’ A curse upon the man who first, By sneezing carelessly, dispersed...
Perfectly Beastly
Rules (6 for each sex) for those aspiring to become either perfect cads or complete bitches Engage in teamwork by letting the team do the...
Preposterous Pet
A poem involving a famous person and an unlikely pet When Bach bought a bison, an act he’d regret, He wrongly presumed that a...
Self-portrait
A self-portrait of a well-known poet in his or her style (Thomas Hardy) At sink of sun on Stinsford ridge, On Stinsford ridge, Eyes...
Aunt jaunt
An extract from a diary of someone travelling with a memorable aunt When Aunt said, ‘All we need is a tandem and a tent,’ the die was...
Short, short story
A short story beginning with the same words that Graham Greene used in ‘The Case for the Defence: ‘It was the strangest murder trial I...
One Hundred Years On
An extract from the diary of a future Winston Smith 100 years after 1984 Today I despair! The women’s ‘War for Peace’ has finally...
Open Shirt
A poem in free verse mocking rhymed, metrical verse Poetry, like water, should be left to find and follow its own course sparkling in...
Votive verse
A poem, addressed to a saint, asking for help over an unusual problem that comes within his or her sphere of influence Saint Antony of...
Bouquet
A poem in praise of a loved teacher Miss Raisin was our teacher. She was gooder than the rest, Though when we mentioned gooder she...
In two minds
A sonnet in which the sextet refutes or contradicts the arguments or sentiments in the octet A bishop, by his gaiters and his gait,...
Yawning Gap
A poem which might be included in an Anthology of Bored Verse A storekeeper? Really? No, do tell me more! Yes, I’d love to hear what it...
Show Me Your Leader
A traditional newspaper last ‘leader’ on the perennial subject of the weather Talk of the town today is the meteorological mayhem that...
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