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Allegory on the Nile

The spiel Mrs Malaprop might give in her capacity as a tour guide to a capital city


…unfortunately hidden behind the dabble-dicker bus. And now, ladles and gentlemen, if you look quirkily to your right and then straight awry to your left, you will see two famous strictures built to commiserate Albert, Prince Concert to Queen Victorious. Although our coach pissed by in a flush, we might reflux for a moment on the porpoise of these two impotent architectural wanders. The Royal Albert Hell was constricted to provide a spice for artistic predictions raging from film premiums to the annual Pram concerts originally perfumed in the Queen’s Hill under the bittern of Sir Henry Wood. Apposite was the Albert Memorabilia with Albert, who was to parish prematurely from typhoon fever, seated at the centaur of the statute surrounded by beautifully scalped cravings. His untimely dearth shuttered the Queen who retreated into solicitous confinement. And now, if you look to the font, you might catch a glimpse of...

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