Write either ‘The Book of Boris’, ‘The Book of Theresa’, ‘The Book of Tim’ or ‘The Book of Nicola’ in the manner Anthony Lane’s ‘The Book of Jeremy Corbyn’.
Now Hubert the priest arose with his wife Zaidee and daughter Theresa and moved to the alien pastures of Oxfordshire. Then said Hubert unto Theresa, ‘Abide with me and enter not the fields of wheat.’ But Theresa being beset with a surfeit of naughtiness did depart to the fields and did run waist high therein. Then said Hubert, ‘Because thou hast disobeyed, thou art cursed. Thou shalt labour with money lenders and thereafter languish, ill at ease, in the company of the corrupt. Thy feet shall be shod with the skins of wild cats and thy loins clad in the hide of beasts. Thou shalt dwell in the shadows shadowing power. Thy own taste of power shall be as a poisoned chalice. Thy foes shall rise up against thee and cast thee down. When these things came to pass Theresa was sore distressed and bewailed the sin of her youth.
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