Georgic

A poem giving a list of rules or instructions

The hamlet of Bladderslop (twinned with Bordeaux)

Bids visitors heed the instructions below:

Scrumping’s forbidden. If caught, doing wrong,

Expect to be stung by the point of a prong.

When trekking through fields, with a push or a pull,

Secure all the gates or beware of the bull.

Ramblers remember, on countryside land,

All banners befriending the badger are banned.

Enjoy ‘rights of way’ over pasture and bog,

There’s nothing to fear but the bite of a dog.

Be wary of choosing The Crown for your lunch,

The locals can be a belligerent bunch.

Keep terriers tethered, if seen on the run

They rarely, if ever, escape from the gun.

But don’t be dissuaded. Come, visit our farms!

We welcome outsiders with wide-open arms.