An application for an inappropriate job written by a character from a poem
Dear Sir/Madam,
Having considered the attributes required for your vacancy (sensitivity, youthful appearance, unobtrusive manner, non-threatening presence, ability to listen empathetically and attentively to others without interrupting or imposing one’s own views, etc.), I have no hesitation in applying for the post of Counsellor. Indeed, I was recently privileged to counsel a wedding guest who was clearly dumbfounded by my performance.
My experience to date is astounding and too involved to be included here. Suffice to say I have travelled the world and learned much which I shall gladly reveal in gripping and graphic detail when interviewed.
If you should appoint me, and pray heaven you will, I swear by my glittering eye neither you nor your clients will ever regret having me on board. As God is my witness, I am your man. Hear me out and I shall serve you well. Interminably yours, The Ancient Mariner.
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