Heaven's Above!

The rector, with a solemn face, stood up to have his say.

“Dear friends,” he said, “how sad we are to gather here today.

Our dear departed, Frances, though not known to me, it’s true,

Was, as I’ve heard, a goodly soul – a martyr through and through.

She lived her life as best she could, beloved by you, I know,

And, though it seems a dreadful shame that Frances had to go,

I’m sure she sits in Paradise, enjoying peace at last,

A jewel amidst the angel throng with all her perils passed.

The Bible speaks of women who were faithful, true and keen:

Ruth amidst the alien corn, and Mary Magdalene,

Mary, Jesus’ mother, and a host of others too,

And now dear Frances joins them in a world all bright and new.

Like honest women everywhere her life was hard, no doubt,

Rearing children, sewing socks and sorting menfolk out,

But now she’ll reap her just rewards, so let us not be grim.

Let’s celebrate her passing with the singing of a hymn.”

Now, while the congregation sang, the verger drew up near.

He tugged the Rector’s cassock and he whispered in his ear.

The rector looked aghast to hear the dreadful words he spoke:

“That weren’t no woman Rector! It were Francis. He’s a bloke!”