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Last Words

A poem containing the line: ‘They couldn’t hit an elephant from there’


Oh, what a vile villain in the Vale of Elah stood,

A Philistine revered and feared throughout the neighbourhood,

A warrior of gargantuan size, indeed, more great than good

Whose awesome height was quite beyond compare.


One day a lad unclad, a shrimp, stood up to him and said,

‘You’d best not mess with me, my man, I might look underfed

But when it comes to fighting I can strike a giant dead,

So challenge me in battle if you dare!’


The armoured warrior’s weapons gleamed, raised ready now for war,

The lad, he had a leather sling and clearly nothing more,

While all around stood baying for a feast of blood and gore

With limbs and entrails flying through the air.


The villain faced his feeble foe and started trumpeting,

‘Come on then, choose some pebbles lad and shove them in your sling,

Then whirl and hurl them, let them fly and give your stones a fling!

They couldn’t hit an elephant from there.’

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