Marriage Guidance

A piece of prose describing the formula for a successful marriage courtesy of a well-known husband or wife in literature

Like Zeooze’s Three Graces, there are three rules for nuptialious felicitation: choose shrewdaciously, nurture gallantously and abandon boldly.

The right choice is imperitous. Choose as you would a new bicycle. With lots of prospective fish in my sea like Minnie or Christabel, rectospectously I should have chosen someone avidorous for Chaucer, Bocashiew and chivelresque adventures. But in the end, Miriam was thrust upon me like Malivio’s greatness.

Nurturing gallantously can save marriages. Buy a house easy to clean. Get a cat and a canary. Dig a floriforous corner with ’sturtiums and a clothesline where you can sit and pursue rapturious medieval imaginings. Dream of slaying dragons and beg for a little finger to oscoolate.

If romantications fail, proceed to step three. Abandon everything. Combustulate your bridges and cycle away like a knight on a stallion into the sunset where, hopefully, new and exciting Odysseous adventures await you beyond the horizon.