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A well-known rewritten in a pompous and prolix style

To men who would their nuptial chalice keep

Forever with ambrosial nectar filled,

Ensure their ardours stay as fresh and deep

As when by love’s first stirrings they were thrilled;

If they’d be true to their connubial vows,

Dwell in Elysian bliss by shimmering pools,

Scale love’s Olympus, lie ’neath golden boughs

Adorned with luscious fruits, then heed these rules:

When wives feel wronged do not negate their claim

Nor challenge it from arrogance or pride

And, though convinced your spouse should bear the blame,

Agree that righteousness is on her side.

Conversely, should she be the one who errs

But blames you, hold your peace and bite your tongue

Conceding that the fault is yours, not hers,

And thereby keep your love for ever young.

‘A Word to Husbands’ by Ogden Nash