A hitherto (imaginary) unpublished extract by Lewis Carroll relating the further adventures of Alice
The adventures of Alice in the Treasury
‘This is your desk,’ said Old Mother Hubbard. ‘Refer any queries to Jack Frost.’
‘Where is Jack Frost?’ enquired Alice, noticing nobody else in the office.
‘He’s off with a cold!’ snapped Old Mother Hubbard. ‘Begin when you will!’
Alice glanced at the mountainous in-tray of papers bespattered with meaningless figures. ‘What do I do with these?’ she asked.
‘Figure it out!’ replied Old Mother Hubbard, handing Alice a pair of scissors then vanishing into an empty cupboard.
Moments later The Queen of Clubs came storming out of the Counting House screeching, ‘Off with their heads and their tails! There’s nothing to count.’ and, with that, she glowered at Alice and screamed, ‘Get on with it girl!’
‘Get on with what?’ sighed Alice.
‘If you can’t use your head use your scissors!’ bellowed the Queen. ‘Cut up those papers! That’s what we do here, cuts!’
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